Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Pretty November~

It's November 1st. The beginning of a new year, look, it's a pagan thing and it makes more sense than January really. Any way....

It's November and that means National Novel Writing Month! Woo-hoo!

Whoo-What? You say.

It's a ... well... it's a thing. It's an exercise, it's an excuse to write freely and without boundaries (except that you have to finish 50,000 words by 11:59pm on November 30). It's fun! Well... not so much fun sometimes as a struggle, but actually still fun. You can see excerpts from my first attempt at this NaNoWriMo thing (2004) on my other blog (click the profile it will take you there). It was something I did as a vent, a purge, a step towards feeling better - November 1st comes just 4 days after my "Happy Day" anniversary so it was a good thing to do that year.

What I'm doing now is known as procrastination. That's PRO-CRAS-TI-NATION. I've actually gotten 871 words in so far, which is not so bad I'm happy with it. But I decided to write this instead... because.... I'm procrastinatin'!

And because I have news I feel like spilling.

I'm quitting my job.

I was trying soooo hard to stick it out until January, but the truth is: life is short. Too short to do a job you hate, or that leaves you feeling empty, dissatisfied or so unhappy that you eat enough Entenmann's Chocolate Chip loaf to gain 20 lbs in 2 months. Yeah. I wish I was exaggerating. (well... actually I'm also going through a little thyroid glitch which is helping the cake settle in, but still: I'm eating the cake, and it's because I'm BORED! And I'm angry at myself too. Angry that I allowed this to happen. I should have left a year (or more) ago and I knew it, but I felt like it wasn't the 'smart' thing to do.

Fuck that.

I'd rather be happy than safe and 'smart'. Life is so short. Security is an illusion. Happiness is not. Plus I'm making my friends unhappy because I'M SO unhappy 8 hours a day. THAT is unacceptable. So I'm quitting tomorrow morning and relief really doesn't cover it.

I'll still have to do 2 more weeks after I quit... because I'm a dope that way... it's rude not to give 'notice'... I guess. I don't like to be rude... though it's going to be a hard two weeks with the finish line staring me in the face. Still, as a very charming friend of mine told me recently, "don't get fired: quit. Or you'll miss out on the cake".

Who am I to turn down cake?

And now the procrastination ends and I'm going back to the novel-ing. Which is work, but at least it's satisfying. ...kind of like cake.

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