Thursday, November 23, 2006


It's so nice we have a holiday dedicated to giving thanks for everything we have. Personally I have been in a perpetual 'thanksgiving' state for a little over 2 years... so this is just another day in a series. But it's still nice.

In the past Thanksgivings for me have been either:

family gatherings
having to travel, worrying about how drunk everyone was going to get and when the fights would begin.

being the hostess
worrying that the food would suck, worrying about how drunk everyone was going to get and when the fights would begin, or even better.

visits to nursing homes
well, at least no one was drunk or fighting... they were just mentally altered and food was no issue as feeding tubes were in place... but it was still a real party.

But this year is different. And I'm loving it.

The past couple of years, prompted by my newly found joy in living, I signed up to do Thanksgiving meal deliveries to the homebound ill and elderly. It was fun, and beyond gratifying, but it was a job of work. Most of the folks we delivered to lived in walk-ups, on the highest floors (hence the reason they were homebound) so carrying those bags of food was a trek. But the smiles we got in return... that is the SHIT, baby! And it made every flight of stairs a breeze.

I wanted to do it again this year, but got so caught up in my 'quit the job' decision-making, etc. that I didn't get to sign up in time. So this year I'm doing something different: nothing!

I feel bad about not doing the volunteer thing, but I'm also really delighted to have had NO obligations today. Oh a friend and I are going to the theater tonight, but that's easy-breezy. Otherwise I have just spent the day chilling, and yes, thinking about the hundreds of things I have to be thankful for.

All the things I am thankful for are things that would not be, had I killed myself. So we're talking about an excessively long list that goes from breathing to being on stage, from being healthy to having the world's most lovely friends. My lists are too long - and for that, I am profoundly thankful.

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