Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Trousers... the removal of

If you know me, you know one of my firmly held beliefs involves men's apparel onstage. I like the pants to come off.

Okay, okay before you go throwing stones and calling me a pervert, hear me out.

I am not talking about any sort of sleazy sexual stripper deal where dollar bills are involved... though, yes, there is a place for that as well. (We can talk about that another time, no really, I promise.)

I'm talking about the high quality pants dropping. PG-13. The kids will not be scared for life... usually. I'm talking about humor. I'm talking that for some reason I find nothing quite so laugh out loud funny as a man taking his pants off with an absolute internal sense of amusement and lack of shame at the activity. Yes, I'm all highfalutin' with the Shakespeare and the ballet and PBS - but I also love the 3 Stooges (Moe in particular) and a grown man dropping trou on a stage.

Now usually, if one is smart, and lucky, one gets to see this whenever they see a Niagaras show. (and yes, that is the best possible version of the dropped-drawers that you will EVER see - go see them and then we'll talk, and you can tell me I'm right). But sometimes you can see it elsewhere, in a somewhat lesser version, but still, it's something I enjoy A LOT and so a lesser version is still okie-dokie with me. You know, as long as the guy's attractive...

I saw Jacques Brel is Alive and Well and Living in Paris today. A very attractive man, with a clear sense of humor (and very nice singing voice) began unzipping his pants and I swear I just instantly started laughing my head off because I knew where it was going. I know there were several people seated around me who were getting mighty... um... uncomfortable, but me? I was in boxer shorts heaven. It was funny - and appropriate to the song and staging. And I had myself a little fix of men in drawers. And in the middle of the afternoon no less!!

So what if my arm was tingling and I wanted to scratch the flesh off my hand? HA- HA I say! Take 'em off, sir and I forget I'm having any sort of physical discomfort. Laughter as medicine? Oh yes, you'd better believe it. It can save your life. It really can.


Yesterday was the big date with the scary MRI tube. Let me take a moment now to recommend that if you don't need one, do not go out of your way to have an MRI. It ain't big fun. Nope.

I don't have claustrophobia. It's one of those phobias I am not cursed with, go ME! But I'll tell you, if I were to develop it I know the reason why. That MRI tube is one tight squeeze. They tell you to close your eyes when they pop you into the tube - I opened my eyes once I was in and realized why. The top of that tube is only inches from your face. That's when I realized exactly why this was a scary test.

It doesn't hurt - quite the contrary, there's something about the vibrations that is actually sort of soothing - but I recommend keeping your eyes closed as much as possible. Seeing nothing but a cement-like white wall 4 inches in front of your face for an hour is a bit disconcerting.

I actually had taken two Xanax before I went tubesville. I wished I'd taken four once I was inside.

I found it very difficult to keep my breathing calm. I know damned well if I hadn't been medicated (even that little bit) I would have hyperventilated myself into a faint. It was odd, because really I wasn't afraid... but it was some kind of irrational response I couldn't seem to get ahold of. And truthfully 2 Xanax would normally knock me out cold. I guess I was a little more anxiety ridden than I wanted to admit. Grrr. I hate that!!

But you know, it's done now. Hopefully I won't need to go through that again any time in my life. And with any luck it will show that all I have is a pinched nerve.

I have my fingers crossed.

Monday, January 29, 2007

Off to the Rodeo... with the Niagaras

At the risk of sounding fawning... oh hell, who cares, I am fawning so let's roll with it.

On Friday, February 2nd you have an exciting opportunity: you can see The Niagaras, New York's* most impressively fun band performing live -- for FREE!!

Do you have a clue what a gift that is? People should be paying $60 and up for this rollickin', fun-filled 2+ hours of non-stop good fun, great music, and all around good times. Yet YOU can see them for free!! See how good life is? Oh it is so very fine.

Now those of you outside the New York City area have plenty of time to make your plane reservations... get yer butts in here and shake 'em at the Rodeo with the Niagaras on Friday night.

You trust me, right?


You will love them.
You will love me for sending you.
Ain't love grand?

*Of course by "New York" I mean the world. Be with that. I likes what I likes.


In an earlier post I mentioned The Roundtable Ensemble's rep season. Yesterday I saw the third of the three shows they have up until February 10th, THE MAMMY PROJECT. I highly recommend you see this. Whoever you are, whatever your gender, race, or whether or not you like theater! This is an important piece, it only runs an hour, it is informative, educational and before those two words scare you too much - it is ALSO highly entertaining and incredibly moving.

So that's my input on that. You should know that I am always right about things like this and you should heed me. Of course people that do not are often full of sorrow when they realize that yes, Joy, you goddess of the knowing things, you were right. We should have gone to see The Mammy Project and been entertained and enriched... oh woe are we who did not listen... we who would not hear your words of wisdom and advice. You will beg for another theater recommendation... and I, being all good and wise will decide you are unworthy of my wisdom and good taste... but then I'll realize I'm full of shit and I'll tell you. Because you're basically a good person who wants to go to the theater and I am humble.

But why don't we avoid all that, just GO see THE MAMMY PROJECT while it's still running and then we can move on from there. And if your schedule doesn't permit going to this show: go to either of the other two shows they are running. Because supporting theater is good for your soul. You'll thank me. You know you will.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

side dish of crow...

okay not long after my last aggrieved posting here I am to eat a little crow. Not entirely, just a smidgen... just a little taste.

The doctor's office just called with my precertification number.

Now do I believe that would have happened if I hadn't called earlier today? Not really. But they did call so I'm going to chill a little.

Now I get to call the hospital and make an appointment for my MRI.


No, I'm sorry, you cannot come with. Maybe next time.

We want you to take care of your health... just don't expect any help from US...

Yeah. Love me some doctors.

Actually I have the best internist, gynecologist and dentist ever. (No it is not one super-doc, they are three individuals, but all are great.)

But because of them I have forgotten what fer-shit doctors are out there. I have forgotten the menaces to the public health I've dealt with in the past. Like the idiot med student who was instructed to give me a shot of Demerol BEFORE the orthopedist Re-broke my broken pinkie finger because it was healing wrong, but oops, he FORGOT. FYI: You could hear me screaming in California.

Or the psychiatrist who required I have a full blood work up before she could prescribe an antidepressant, which I did. She then asked ME what the results meant. (oh yeah, I learned that in my Theater History courses). Then she proceeded to prescribe a tricyclic-antidepressant for me that made me want to jump out of my own skin... Seems my blood work actually indicated that I should NEVER be prescribed tricyclics. thanks.

Or the rheumatologist who said it didn't SEEM like I had arthritis, but prescribed an experimental drug for it anyway. (preventative medicine anyone??)

Or the therapist who, when I expressed my desire to kill myself, told me she was going away for two weeks to Ireland. See you later!

Or the shit-for-brains sadist/gynecologist who... alright never mind, that one's probably too much information for a public forum. But trust me, I've had some freaks who should not have been allowed to APPLY for medical school let alone practice (and clearly they call it 'practice' for a reason) on living people.... or animals... or insects.

But now I have this physical medicine doc who a) yelled at me the very first time we met; b) I have not seen him again just his associates (luckily); c) they told me to get an MRI.

Well I'd be happy to get moving on that MRI folks but it seems my insurance company requires precertification for MRIs. This has to be procured through the doctor's office. I was told that they would call me with the precertification number, but that I should contact them if I don't hear from them by Tuesday. Yesterday was Tuesday. No call. So I called them today.

Guess what?

"Oh, we just submitted that yesterday... I'll call you around noon tomorrow."

I will not hold my breath waiting for that call. My phone doesn't ring by 1:00pm I'm calling them again. And I won't be so sweet as I was today.

I'm glad they feel it's okay to just sit on this. Especially when their head doctor feels it's okay to YELL at new patients. Well sure, why rush? It's not like I'm uncomfortable in any way. It's not like I'm going fucking nuts because my entire arm is numb.*** It's not like I'm having any sort of DIFFICULTIES lately. I mean really why not just forget the whole thing, it's just some numbness... some fucked up speech issues... some ridiculous fatigue and bizarre pains. Why would we want to figure out what is going on? Why?



Sorry. Just had to vent.

I wish all doctors could be like my trinity of great ones, but clearly I am blessed with them and not likely to get so lucky every time. But really, shouldn't we be able to expect decent, at the very least, service from these doctors and their staff? I mean really... who exactly is paying whom here? We are so brainwashed about the medical profession that we sometimes forget that THEY are working for US. WE are paying them for a service. If this MRI nonsense doesn't get sorted out in the next 24 hours I am taking my business elsewhere. I fucking hate doctors right now.

***if you'd like to experience a little of my fun try this. Sit on your hand. Really, try it. Just put your hand under your butt and leave it there until it falls asleep. Now, pull out your keyboard and start typing. Feels pretty good, huh? Now, before that hand stops doing the pins & needles number on you, try cooking, brushing your teeth, any old regular thing you might do with your hand. THAT is what I feel all day long. Except I don't have to sit on my hand for it, oh, and it rarely, if ever, stops feeling numb. Now would YOU be anxious to get to the bottom of that?


Sunday, January 21, 2007

Frankenstein's girl...

Just in case there are any hypochondriacs out there, or just people interested in medical procedures, I thought I'd mention my
EMG test.

Last Thursday I had the test. It was, shall we say, interesting.

It involves electrodes. It involves needles. It involves shooting electricity into your body and oh my goodness who doesn't enjoy that?

Naturally I looked this up on the 'net before test day - and naturally I wished I hadn't done so! I have been afraid of any sort of combination of "medical" and "electrical" since I first saw THE SNAKE PIT, starring the ever-beautiful and delightful Olivia de Havilland. That and knowing several people who had ECT when I was a child (back when electroshock therapy was de rigueur for any and all emotional problems... god save us from the dark ages!) gave me such wiggins I can't tell you! So I was not at all happy about needing this test. But I'm even less happy about having a constant tingling and numbness running up my entire left arm and side... so I tried to remain calm and deal with the test. I'm a grown woman... I decided to be brave... and simply run screaming at the first sign of pain.

Actually this test did not hurt... well, not entirely. I have a really high pain threshold so I can take quite a lot of pain before I start crying so I may not be the best judge, but for the most part it just felt kinda weird.

After they hook you up with the conductor tapes and electrodes, they take what looks like a tv remote with prongs (like an electrical outlet) and zap various parts (in my case they went up and down both arms - since my tingling is in my arm). When they zapped my arm my fingers would twitch - completely involuntarily. I found this endlessly amusing. It looked all the world like a Frankenstein movie. "LIFE... LIFE!!!!" There's my hand just twitching and bopping on it's own. Cra-zeeeee! After the first jolt I knew what to expect so since it didn't actually hurt I was able to enjoy the weirdness of the experience.

The second part of the test is less fun, though there is still an interesting aspect to it.

In the second part of the test they use a needle. Uh... yeah. Ready to run? I was! It's maybe 7" long and very thin (not quite so thin as an acupuncture needle, but not as thick as a syringe). this needle is hooked up to the same electrical mechanism but instead of zapping you with the remote, they jab you with the needle. It goes into various muscles (by various I mean ALL the muscles in my arm) and they kind of swish it around in there getting radio-signals on a display monitor. It actually makes static sounds and as they twist the needle around (and yes, that's the part that hurt) the machine sounds like a radio being tuned. I was waiting to pick up the Howard Stern show... but I guess the machine is just straight am/fm not satellite. Ah well.

Since the tests showed no damage to the nerves in my arm(s) this means I do NOT have carpal tunnel syndrome. *sigh* I never thought I did, but doctors aren't big on listening to what patients have to say. What the test did indicate is that there might be some issue with a nerve in my neck.

Know what that means?

That's right.

The needle went into my neck.

THIS was easily the worst part.

Doctor: Put your chin to your chest and relax.

Joy thinks
: Right, exactly how am I suppose to relax when I KNOW you are going to jab a NEEDLE into my Freakin' NECK?!!!

Joy says: Okay!

So in goes the needle. My chin is digging into my chest and she continues to tell me to Put your chin to your chest and relax.

Joy thinks: How far into my chest would you like me to put my chin??? I have a bruise now!!

Ah bitch and moan, that's me.

So after the needle-neck fun is over they tell me I might have pinched nerve in my neck. I have to have an MRI to determine if that's the case.

Yeah. I don't actually think that's what it is... but it's a better alternative to what I do think it is. There are times I'd prefer to be wrong. I'm good with being wrong here. I'd actually be great with being wrong here.

We'll see.


It is absolutely freezing outside today. Actually it is below freezing. Happily I picked up a new hat and gloves the other day - talk about good timing! This is especially important right now as little Miss X really enjoys the walking!

If you've read here before you may recall that my dog is not so much for the walking. He's more for the standing around waiting for adoration from strangers he can ignore (after they ooo and ahhh at him sufficiently, of course). Because of my dog's quickie bathroom breaks I don't usually have to worry about how cold it is, did I remember my gloves? Because we're in and out so fast. But the puglet? Oh she's the total opposite. She is a sniffer and a marker! My boy just 'goes'.... the outdoors are simply the restroom for him, no need to spend too much time there. Miss X likes to check her e-mail - when it's not spam she likes to respond.

For you non-dog people, sniffing other dog's ... let's be delicate... um... PEE ... is in fact like doggie email. They pick up all sorts of info from the smells all around us that we would never be able to smell. Dog noses are pretty amazing... still, I'm okay with not sniffing pee.

So my Basil is like someone who has a yahoo account they check once a month or so and Miss X is more like me - compulsive email checker. This is actually a fun switch for me as I actually get to WALK a dog instead of just standing around with a dog. (I love my boy, but sometimes I'd like to actually go AROUND the block!) Miss X likes the variety, the change of scene, my guess is the girl has 17 or so email addresses to keep her admirers separate. Smart pup. So we walk. A lot. And in this cold I need the gloves.

The great thing about this cold hitting so hard while I have Miss X here is that I am ABLE to walk her! I mean a couple of weeks ago I could barely get out of bed to stand outside with Basil. And I see an absolute correlation between my pain and the weather. As soon as the temperature began to drop I began to feel better. And now with this arctic chill I feel really good - good enough that I actually ran a little this morning. (Actually I walked for an hour and ran for 11 minutes of that hour, but I'm trying not to ruin my knee with over enthusiasm.) I can hardly express how good it feels not to HURT.

Well that sounded stupid, huh?

But seriously, feeling a little ache in the knee when running is NOTHING compared to aching EVERYWHERE so badly that going from bed to the bathroom is excruciating. So I'm pretty damned delighted right now. Maybe the aches and the warmer temperatures are just coincidental... maybe not... but right now I kind of hope it stays chilly for a while longer (maybe not below freezing, but cool is okay). Plus, I love my new gloves.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Pug in da house!

Today begins the visitation! My little apartment will be a doggy-B&B for the next few days while this charmer's mom is away. I've been a touch apprehensive because Basil (my dog) is not used to having another dog in his space. (I may pay the rent but... well... you know...)

We've hosted small dogs in the past, for a day at a time - never overnight - and all has gone well, but I worry. Sometimes the energy level of a younger, smaller dog can get on the nerves of a more senior, laid back dog. But so far, aside from a little showing of the pearly whites (little dogs have to learn not to touch bigger dogs' rawhide! oops!) all has gone smoothly. So far........

Meet Miss X*

She looks tough, huh? Some would say feisty.
Actually she is pretty feisty -- but tough? Nahhh. She's a pussy-cat.

Not literally. But she may as well be as she seems to think the only place to sit, lay, or sleep is squarely in my lap. Nick is not thrilled to share the lap space. But he's being a gentleman about it... inasmuch as a cat can be a gentleman. Frankly I think he's a little stunned that this 'creature' is a dog. He's not used to the little ones. (Please note my bravery at showing this photo as it includes my intensely dorky Grammy slippers... if my pedicure was in order you would not have seen these gems).

I got this tight shot just as she was getting sleepy.

And of course a wild and stressful day always results in a coma. She seems to like the purple serape I picked up on my last visit to the Golden Land (a/k/a Mexico). I like it too.

I'm quite happy to have Miss X visiting with us. I think it will be an adventure. And I do love an adventure. Especially the kinds that don't involve me going to the doctor. Which happens tomorrow. Ugh. Nerve tests. I insist you hold back your envy. I mean it!

*not her real name

A Night at the Theater...

Last night I went out. Wheee! The cold really seems to have helped, I'm not exhausted, I'm not in pain... I still have bizarro tingling, but no pain. Ever grateful for THAT!

So it was opening night of an interesting piece called SILENCE which is being produced by the estimable Roundtable Ensemble - a group that does wonderful theater on a limited budget for the purpose of bringing live theater to under served audiences. It's a great group and if you happen to have a few extra dollars laying around you could donate it to them - they'd love you for it. They're nice that way.

About a month ago when they were holding auditions for this (and another of the 3 shows they are putting on in repertory this season), I helped out for a couple of days. I didn't do much, just signed people in and smiled and was all supportive (trust me: if you've ever been on an audition, smiles and support are a BIG help before you head into that great unknown of reading in front of strangers who will either love you or hate you). I was very happy to see the finished product up on a stage last night. If you're in NYC try to see SILENCE or TAMING OF THE SHREW (90 min version!) or
THE MAMMY PROJECT (the other two shows they're running). $18 tickets - you really can't go wrong.

I was also happy to see some of the people I'd worked with last year when I was on the acting side of things. Though it was fun to see them it also made me angry at myself for not having pursued acting since then. Now that I am not working I have no excuses. Except for the mystery illness. And of course my fears of rejection. Yup. Still gots those.

I don't know why I could manage to swim with dolphins yet I can't pull my shit together enough to go on auditions. It's ridiculous.


it's always the thing you want most that's the hardest... the scariest...

I'd like to go "rah-rah" and say I'm going on an audition tomorrow.

I'm not.

Sometimes it takes a really long time for me to talk myself into doing what I know I want to do, what I should do. If life were longer that wouldn't be a problem. Unfortunately our time here is finite... so I'd better shit or get off the pot... and soon.

Self-defeating behaviors. They suck, huh?

Blah-blah-woe is me.

Get to the theater people! Being in the audience is still participation.

Have fun!

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Catch Up!

I've left this blog unattended for too long. Now there is too much to catch it up, so I'll try to annotate.

Last Friday was my birthday. *Happy Birthday Joy!* I had a terrific day and several cakes/candles all as different as you'd like. From the first one (Baked Apple Pie at McDonalds!), to a beautiful chocolate tart-cake-bombe-type of thing at Rosa Mexicano (I LOVE that place), to a 7 layer slice at a diner (they put something in the water there I swear to God, 2 glasses and you're high as a kite... no lie!)

Amidst all this cake and candle and singing stuff (which is embarrassing but I LOVE it) was a beautiful bouquet of yellow roses and irises. Sadly the poor things were dead by Monday, so delicate! But I did take photos when they were still happy and lively. They were also quite fragrant which is nice - not many flowers are any more. There was also an adorable bunch of red berry boughs which I stoopidly did not get a photo off before the leaves went dry. STOOPID!!!!

These are the Birthday Flowers

Same bouquet - different angle

Dinner at Rosa Mexicano was almost TOO good. What a great place. (We went to the original location on First Avenue). You almost feel like you're in Mexico... for a little while. This is one of the dishes - the only one that came out well in the pictures... I guess the margaritas are a little stronger than I realized. I just don't drink, so on the rare occasion that I do... well... let's just say I'm a cheap date.

Budín Azteca (Rosa Mexicano)

The weather has cooled to nearly normal January temperatures (finally) and I am finding that despite my love of the Mexican heat, I am feeling a lot less pain (nearly none!) when the weather is cold! Uh-oh. This had better be some passing weirdness because I really don't want a little pain to interfere with my eventual move to Mexico! For those of you who just gasped: rest assured, I signed a two-year lease and I don't foresee moving from New York any time soon...

This is really brief, but I'm in the middle of painting a dresser and getting ready to head out to the theater. Why did I think it was a good idea to start painting so late in the day? Um... yeah, exactly: typical!!

To all of you who made my birthday so lovely, with e-mails and e-cards, flowers, meals, pies and cakes... all I can say is THANK YOU. It was a really lovely birthday. And that's a BIG DAMNED DEAL to me, who has not usually had good birthdays. So again, thank you. Thank you.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

No walking... but some cooking....

Yesterday was a pretty good day. I did a load of laundry (yesssssssss!) and a little shopping (cotton balls are on sale?! Yay!!!) while it was spinning. And I felt okay. I was really excited about this. I stayed awake ALL day long, and actually accomplished something!

I was so excited about yesterday that I had planned to take a good long walk and go to the library today. It was my fabulously wild plan for the day. (Please control your envy.) However, this was not going to happen.

I actually slept until 10:30 a.m.!!!!!

You don't understand -- I don't sleep that late. Ever. I was very disgusted with myself. And the poor dog was dancing around with my sneaker in his mouth needing to go out (this is why I NEVER sleep this late... though I admit he's a better dancer than me so it was kind of worth watching).

I realized pretty quickly that I had probably overdone the day before and was now paying for it. I'm dragging today (but not in cry-worthy pain, so I'll take it!) But I did manage to DO something....

I'm pretty impressed with myself. This is my very first attempt at Pesto sauce. AND my first attempt at Seitan! Now this may not seem like big doings to anyone but me, but I didn't have a recipe. I winged it! And it came out really well. (You have to take my word on that... yummmmmy!) So this is angel hair pasta with pesto, string beans, carrots, sundried tomatoes and Seitan (lightly fried in Olive Oil with ground Flaxseed). Sounds awfully healthy, huh? I cannot take credit for the bread - though I did heat it up. Go me!

The Flaxseed is also something new and exciting. I've begun using it to get the Omega-3s. I'm looking for the healthy here. I'm seeing the pain management doc tomorrow, but I'm not relying on the health care system to fix me. I do have some really wonderful doctors, but I think healing physically (as well as mentally) has to be a collaboration. The doctors can't just 'fix' you. And many times we cannot just 'fix' ourselves. But together... well, we can do almost anything, can't we?

Monday, January 08, 2007

He Went Out Through the Livingroom Window...

I have The Beatles' song "She Came in Through the Bathroom Window" in my head now because that's the first thing that came to mind when my neighbor stopped by earlier tonight.

He knocked on my door and somehow I just knew he'd locked himself out of his apartment, which is across the hall from mine.

Hi! I said, Locked out?

Yes. He seemed surprised at my gift for prophecy.

Is your window unlocked?

I never lock it. He said.

Great, come on in!

You see, our apartments share a fire-escape. There have been several tenants in the apartment next door and at least once each and every one of them has been locked out and crawled through my livingroom window to get to their window and let themselves in. Some more than once. Dan, a really gifted actor and singer, was perpetually climbing through the window. A great guy who was not so great with his keys. He'd knock on the door and just give me the puppy-dog eyes. It was a riot. I have missed the ritual since he moved out. But tonight we got to recreate it.

There's something lovely about the window climb. It's neighborly. It's funny, in a sit-com sort of way. It makes me feel useful. Usually it works out because they almost always leave their window unlocked. Me I'm a locker. I'd be shit outta luck if I lost my key (which is why several people around town have copies! whew!) because first of all I wouldn't climb out there unless there actually was a fire, (Acrophobia) and because the window is always locked if I'm out of the apartment, (OCD).

Well, tonight we had a bust. His window was locked. Poor guy actually locked up, for the first and only time. He was none to pleased. I felt unhelpful. But he still commented on my newly painted livingroom (good boy!) and admired the myriad colors (what awesome good taste he has!).

Luckily he remembered someone had the key and would eventually get in. Unfortunately he's also moving out this week, so we may never have another chance for a successful window run. But I'm glad we had this one.

I was prompted to write this vignette of my evening by reading a posting on another blog, synchronicity and all that, so you might like to hop over and take a look at that. It's sweet. And a reminder that we're all on this planet together, so we damned well better take care of each other. If not us, then who?

Sunday, January 07, 2007

soy cansada... je suis fatigué... I am pooped...

I have been sleeping, sleeping and just to shake things up, napping since Thursday night. I managed to drag myself to the theater to see a play (I will not give the name because we left at the intermission) with a friend who insisted on putting me in a cab home after we left the theater. I'm such a stubborn dope I was fighting with her, duh. Stoopid me. I actually fell asleep in the cab!! Yeah. It's embarrassing. At least if I were drunk... ah well. Thank you for the cab Kathleen, good call.

Basil, my dog, and Nick, his cat, are loving the sleeping mommy. They're thrilled. I take Basil out and we come back in and I'm hitting the hay as soon as I hang up the leash and I can just see him thinking "YESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!! LOTTO!!!"

As long as the pets are happy, who cares if I'm walking funny?

But I did go to the gym to meet Rafael on Saturday because I felt like I had to try. He mocked my "Bride of Frankenstein" walk. Oh well, at least I laughed. After all that sleep, you'd think I'd be okay. Not so much. I CRIED when he stretched me. It HURT. REALLY HURT. It was so fucked up. I came home and laid around, took ibuprofen and xanax and put ben-gay pads all over myself, and slept the rest of the day -- but this morning I felt a little better!!! Woo-HOO!!

So I decided to haul it out and do a little load of laundry. Silly me. It's Sunday. Did I REALLY think I'd just waltz into the laundry and get a machine on a SUNDAY? Oh I really am unwell!!!

But it was a blessing in disguise. I came home, with my dirty laundry, and thought I'd try the laundromat again later in the afternoon. By the time I washed a few dishes (all this 'excess energy' whee!) I was exhausted again. If I'd gotten a machine I'd have to finish the process and frankly I don't believe I'd make it through waiting for the dryer to finish. Right now I'm ready to lay down and sleep for the rest of the day. Hopefully it will only be a little nap. I feel like I'm losing days of my life and it is PISSING me OFF. (I'm a touch on the irritable side right now. Go figure!)

I have things to do. I have things I WANT to do. I do NOT enjoy the sleeping. And it seems to be the only thing I'm able to do. At least I had the 'oompf' to post something today. I guess that's an improvement. *yawn*

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

A little Information...

I be loving me some internet. I love the instant access to information. I love having a question pop up and being able to answer it by swinging into a google search. Unfortunately, what I love about the internet is also what I hate about it.

I'm a natural researcher. I just love finding stuff out, investigating, putting pieces together. In the days before the internet, yes kiddies there was a time before -- Shocking, I know, I know. In those dark, far off days people like me used crazy-assed things like, oh, I dunno... encyclopedias, libraries, card catalogues... I actually miss thumbing through card catalogues, you'd stumble upon some awesome stuff you didn't even know you wanted to know about or books you'd never have found otherwise...

Unfortunately, the internet allows you to very quickly insert your symptoms into a search engine and find out that you may very well have some disease or syndrome or whateveryacallit condition. Sure this is good because before you see a doctor you really ought to know what you might have (knowledge is power and all that) but in my case, the things that are popping up in my particular searches, regarding my particular symptoms of late, are things I'm not liking. I'm not going to go into detail on that here because it's all supposition on my part until I actually see the doctor who can confirm it. Which, actually I'm kinda hoping he can't confirm... as I said, I'm not liking what I'm thinking I might have.

With researching the 'old way' it would take hours with many, many books to find all the options of what might be wrong with me. That would leave me feeling I might have missed something (very possible) and I'd go off to the doctor with some information but the hope that I'd missed something simple and easy to fix. It's harder to feel that way when SO much information is so easily accessed right here on our friend, the internet.

And there you have it. The double-edged sword of information. Ignorance is bliss... uh huh. Ah well. Maybe that sort of bliss is overrated. I always prefer knowing to not knowing... but right now I miss the comfort of the card catalogue. On the other hand, I may be coming into some mighty fun prescriptions in the days ahead.

Now that's seeing the glass half-full! :)