Last night I went out. Wheee! The cold really seems to have helped, I'm not exhausted, I'm not in pain... I still have bizarro tingling, but no pain. Ever grateful for THAT!
So it was opening night of an interesting piece called SILENCE which is being produced by the estimable Roundtable Ensemble - a group that does wonderful theater on a limited budget for the purpose of bringing live theater to under served audiences. It's a great group and if you happen to have a few extra dollars laying around you could donate it to them - they'd love you for it. They're nice that way.
About a month ago when they were holding auditions for this (and another of the 3 shows they are putting on in repertory this season), I helped out for a couple of days. I didn't do much, just signed people in and smiled and was all supportive (trust me: if you've ever been on an audition, smiles and support are a BIG help before you head into that great unknown of reading in front of strangers who will either love you or hate you). I was very happy to see the finished product up on a stage last night. If you're in NYC try to see SILENCE or TAMING OF THE SHREW (90 min version!) or
THE MAMMY PROJECT (the other two shows they're running). $18 tickets - you really can't go wrong.
I was also happy to see some of the people I'd worked with last year when I was on the acting side of things. Though it was fun to see them it also made me angry at myself for not having pursued acting since then. Now that I am not working I have no excuses. Except for the mystery illness. And of course my fears of rejection. Yup. Still gots those.
I don't know why I could manage to swim with dolphins yet I can't pull my shit together enough to go on auditions. It's ridiculous.
it's always the thing you want most that's the hardest... the scariest...
I'd like to go "rah-rah" and say I'm going on an audition tomorrow.
Sometimes it takes a really long time for me to talk myself into doing what I know I want to do, what I should do. If life were longer that wouldn't be a problem. Unfortunately our time here is finite... so I'd better shit or get off the pot... and soon.
Self-defeating behaviors. They suck, huh?
Blah-blah-woe is me.
Get to the theater people! Being in the audience is still participation.