Wednesday, January 24, 2007

We want you to take care of your health... just don't expect any help from US...

Yeah. Love me some doctors.

Actually I have the best internist, gynecologist and dentist ever. (No it is not one super-doc, they are three individuals, but all are great.)

But because of them I have forgotten what fer-shit doctors are out there. I have forgotten the menaces to the public health I've dealt with in the past. Like the idiot med student who was instructed to give me a shot of Demerol BEFORE the orthopedist Re-broke my broken pinkie finger because it was healing wrong, but oops, he FORGOT. FYI: You could hear me screaming in California.

Or the psychiatrist who required I have a full blood work up before she could prescribe an antidepressant, which I did. She then asked ME what the results meant. (oh yeah, I learned that in my Theater History courses). Then she proceeded to prescribe a tricyclic-antidepressant for me that made me want to jump out of my own skin... Seems my blood work actually indicated that I should NEVER be prescribed tricyclics. thanks.

Or the rheumatologist who said it didn't SEEM like I had arthritis, but prescribed an experimental drug for it anyway. (preventative medicine anyone??)

Or the therapist who, when I expressed my desire to kill myself, told me she was going away for two weeks to Ireland. See you later!

Or the shit-for-brains sadist/gynecologist who... alright never mind, that one's probably too much information for a public forum. But trust me, I've had some freaks who should not have been allowed to APPLY for medical school let alone practice (and clearly they call it 'practice' for a reason) on living people.... or animals... or insects.

But now I have this physical medicine doc who a) yelled at me the very first time we met; b) I have not seen him again just his associates (luckily); c) they told me to get an MRI.

Well I'd be happy to get moving on that MRI folks but it seems my insurance company requires precertification for MRIs. This has to be procured through the doctor's office. I was told that they would call me with the precertification number, but that I should contact them if I don't hear from them by Tuesday. Yesterday was Tuesday. No call. So I called them today.

Guess what?

"Oh, we just submitted that yesterday... I'll call you around noon tomorrow."

I will not hold my breath waiting for that call. My phone doesn't ring by 1:00pm I'm calling them again. And I won't be so sweet as I was today.

I'm glad they feel it's okay to just sit on this. Especially when their head doctor feels it's okay to YELL at new patients. Well sure, why rush? It's not like I'm uncomfortable in any way. It's not like I'm going fucking nuts because my entire arm is numb.*** It's not like I'm having any sort of DIFFICULTIES lately. I mean really why not just forget the whole thing, it's just some numbness... some fucked up speech issues... some ridiculous fatigue and bizarre pains. Why would we want to figure out what is going on? Why?

BECAUSE I'M SICK OF FEELING LIKE THIS! THAT'S WHY.

*sigh*

Sorry. Just had to vent.

I wish all doctors could be like my trinity of great ones, but clearly I am blessed with them and not likely to get so lucky every time. But really, shouldn't we be able to expect decent, at the very least, service from these doctors and their staff? I mean really... who exactly is paying whom here? We are so brainwashed about the medical profession that we sometimes forget that THEY are working for US. WE are paying them for a service. If this MRI nonsense doesn't get sorted out in the next 24 hours I am taking my business elsewhere. I fucking hate doctors right now.


***if you'd like to experience a little of my fun try this. Sit on your hand. Really, try it. Just put your hand under your butt and leave it there until it falls asleep. Now, pull out your keyboard and start typing. Feels pretty good, huh? Now, before that hand stops doing the pins & needles number on you, try cooking, brushing your teeth, any old regular thing you might do with your hand. THAT is what I feel all day long. Except I don't have to sit on my hand for it, oh, and it rarely, if ever, stops feeling numb. Now would YOU be anxious to get to the bottom of that?

Exactly.

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