Saturday, May 26, 2007

the bandit

As you may have read, the 2007 model of the Pug has been recalled due to structural/design flaws. I discovered today that the earlier models, while structurally sound do indeed have a flaw: larceny. Miss X attempted a robbery today. I said ATTEMPTED. Luckily the homeless man she tried to steal the take-out from said he would not press charges. So it's all good.

I don't want to get into too many details, but let's just say the Kung Pao Chicken was too much temptation for the little puglet. I don't believe she is a kleptomaniac nor a thrill-seeking robber, but something clicked and she simply couldn't resist trying to dive bomb the man who was sitting in a doorway eating the aforementioned Chinese delicacy. Look, she was clearly starving: she had only eaten her own breakfast, most of Basil's and a handful of treats and it was almost LUNCH time so it's understandable that the poor little thing was famished. Oy.

After dragging her away from what to her was an obvious street fair of food, we were only a block from home and the yum-yum-yumminess of a bowlful of Science Diet when we were assailed by a cab driver on a break who wanted to know who I liked better: the dog or him. (Does that seem like a good pickup line? In what language? On what PLANET?) This guy tried to ply Miss X with some sort of gelatinous luncheon meat product which she would have gladly scarfed down without a moment's hesitation. No way, Dude. I told him it would disrupt her tummy and he insisted. WTF! NO. I said NO bizarro lunch meat for the dog, pal. Seriously. I was trying to get away, Miss X, naturally, wanted to stay with the human who was proving his love with food rather than go with me, the lame ass who was going to give her kibble, but a couple of people stopped and were crouching down to rub her head and I wanted her to get her fair share of human devotion. Unfortunately lunch meat guy was trying to sneak a piece of the slimy stuff to her under cover of her impromptu massage session and I had to simply walk away; sad, starving dog in tow. Idiot lunch meat man.

The Blatantly Unrepentant Miss X

Luckily she forgot all the delightful food products she could have had al fresco when I gave her a bowl of crunchy kibbles. Clearly the pug ain't too fussy 'bout the chow. I only hope we can make it through her next walk without her trying to hold up the bagel shop.


Bella said...

Too funny. Who knew pug-sitting could be so adventurous?

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

LOL! It was Kung Pao Chicken, who can blame her.