Monday, May 07, 2007

Reading, Walking, Sleeping... how about some Blogging!

My schedule is all askew. I have been sleeping during the day and up all night. Yes, this feels more right to me, and yet it is screwing with my day to day. Go figure. I'm hoping to readjust, but then again... why?

The weather has been so great that I've been able to walk almost everywhere I've needed to be lately, so nice... except when there are parades WHY are there so many PARADES in this city?!!

I'm reading like a mad woman, which I haven't really done since I was in Mexico last. Either I don't have the time, or can't find a book that grabs me. But the past few weeks I've been immersed and this too feels more right to me. Currently I'm hooked on The Romance Reader by Pearl Abraham. No, it is not a Harlequin. It's about a young girl growing up in a Hassidic community in the 1970s. You want a peek into a lifestyle? Pick up this book. I'd be reading it now except that I've been doing this new thing with books... reading them at a reasonable rate. Rather than storming through them in a day or two I'm letting them settle in, staying with them a little longer. It feels a little like a tease to someone who, as a teenager, stayed awake for a 72 hours non-stop reading marathon of Stephen King's The Stand, yet there's a real plus to savoring the journey. Look at me, finally figuring that out. go me.

Of course running around to the theater, hitting the gym, seeing soul lifting musical performance art, and walking my sneakers to shreds all over New York means I'm up all night devouring the books. I'm SLEEPY!

But the sleep has brought something very new, and kind of amazing: the dreams.

Since I was a child I have had a really good hold on lucid dreaming. You know, where you know you are dreaming and can make choices in the dreams. It's good, a sort of subconscious meets the conscious form of internal therapy. It is an especially good skill to cultivate if you have issues with nightmares. Being able to address yourself in the midst of a nightmare can be very reassuring - it can also help you wake up from the damned things. But last night... okay, I guess it was actually this morning, I had a dream the like of which I have never had before. I'm not sure if I should be stoked... or scared.

It was not a nightmare by any means, it was just a dream I have never had before in my life. It's an extremely common dream, possibly one of the more common ones, yet I had never had it and I have always attributed that to my fear of heights.

I dreamt I was flying.

and

It was FUCKING AWESOME!

At first I floated, without realizing it until I saw someone else was floating (and reading a newspaper)... I wondered if it would be possible to go higher... to fly rather than just float along. Then I did something very rare for me (in dreams or in life) I just 'let go', I fell backwards and the wind pushed me up, I was barely a foot off the ground and then I let myself relax even more and told myself 'you big goof, it's a DREAM, you aren't really flying and you will not fall so it's okay: DO IT'. And I did. I even kept my eyes opened and watched the ground a good 100 feet below. I think this was easily the best dream I've ever had - and I've had some doozies (both good and bad).

Where did this one come from in a life of non-flying dreams? I'm usually able to ferret out the waking-life triggers for my dreams... this one, I'm not sure. I have a vague idea, but I'll have to think it through. In the meantime, I FLEW! I always wondered what those dreams were like. Now I know.

Awesome.

4 comments:

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

Cool!

It sounds like you are letting go of a lot of things.

Joy said...

I think that may be a big part of it... and also accepting things, accepting that it might be okay for GOOD things to happen.

Oh dear... I hope this doesn't mean I'm growing up or anything insane like that!

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

Nah! But if you start feeling too adult go buy some toys. I highly reccomend plastic dinosaurs.
;-)

Jay said...

I have never had a dream of flying at all...I'm so jealous, that sounds cool!