Thursday, August 30, 2007

A good nap

It will be no surprise to anyone who has read this blog before that I have some issues with sleep. Getting to sleep, staying asleep, all the things that involve or revolve around or evolve into sleep are problematic for me.

Lately I'm having some damned fine sleep. Go figure!

It may well simply boil down to being happy. It may also be a result of the fact that I got hit with a crummy summer cold the other day. I'm going to give credit to the happy. Or maybe I should call it a contented happy. How the hell do I define levels of happiness? Oy! I think it may be about finding a component of reassurance and safety that was not so pronounced before. Despite having those feelings of "everything is great, I'm happy" there seem to have been bits I was not quite latching onto.

My ability to trust is somewhat underdeveloped.

There are not many people I trust all the way down to the ground. There are a few. That's probably all anyone needs. I think allowing myself to trust just one more, someone who I instinctively knew I could trust (way back in the days when I still trusted myself above all others), may have been all I needed to be able to close my eyes and actually let myself fall asleep. And STAY asleep for more than 2 hours at a clip.

This probably doesn't make any sense. I think I may have a teeny bit of a fever. I sure as hell have a raging sore throat. But I'm so amazed by the fact that I'm sleeping - and sleeping well - lately that I felt compelled to share.

A lifetime of insomnia may not be gone for good, but for now it's taking a hiatus. I'm going to take advantage - it's nap time!!!

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz-ahem-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

3 comments:

kimy said...

sweet dreams.....

Junk Thief said...

I definitely hear you on the trust issue. Much as I might pooh pooh the "If you don't trust yourself first, you can't trust anyone" axiom, I know it's true. I'm doing much better on this all around Also, I am more selective on who I make as friends, realizing my time is my greatest commodity and I'm picky about who I share it with. So now the challenge is growing that circle of trust. Happy dreams during all that good sleep in the meantime.

marxsny said...

Glad to hear you are sleeping well. Insomnia sucks, I know.