Saturday, January 12, 2008

Out with the old... in with the... well, okay, old

Breathe in. REAAAAALLLY deeply. Now exhale with a sense of adolescent ennui.

That means give me a great big sigh.

*SIGH*

Today's my birthday.

I hate my birthday.

I had written an INCREDIBLY sad and self-indulgent pity party of a post (oooh alliteration!) and then decided not to post it. Oh I still feel it, but I'm not posting it. It's waaay too annoying and irritates even me: and it's about me. I can't even imagine how annoying it would be to anyone else! Ouch!

I find that regardless of how happy I might be in general, on my birthday as well as the days preceding it, I tend to be cranky. Though cranky is a subtle way of putting it. Stone cold bitchy and sad is a little closer to the truth.

It's on my birthday that I tend to feel neglected and angry. I know that it's a hold-over from my childhood and as an adult (oh good lord, a really OLD adult now) I ought to be able to let go of those feelings of 'nobody loves me'. But I guess being aware of the genesis of these feelings is not nearly enough to get over them. Let's hear that enormous collective sigh once again, shall we? Oh c'mon, you can do better than that! Basil can sigh bigger than that!! Work with me folks!

Much better. Thank you.

I'm going to try to keep the self-pity at bay for the rest of the evening, tomorrow will be better.
It always is.

I really hate my birthday.

7 comments:

Bella said...

Maybe you should stop commemorating your birthday at all and start keeping track of your LIFEday. The day that you decided that you wanted to live and not commit suicide?

If your birthday makes you feel this miserable, then I say, forget it. Don't think of it as anything other than a normal day of the week and turn the other day (the Lifeday) into the thing you celebrate each year.


The choice is yours, after all, it's your life.

Joy Keaton said...

THAT is an excellent idea. Thank you. I don't know if I can really pull it off - but it sure can't hurt to try! Thanks Bella.

Gary said...

I am happy that you made the best of the day anyway. You have more things on the way...

BetteJo said...

Hell - birthdays are over-rated - and much better when you're a kid and don't mind getting a year older each time!

Salty Miss Jill said...

I get like that around my birthday, too. They have mostly been let-downs where everyone forgets and I end up having to make my own plans, which usually consist of me sitting alone at a bar getting drunk and feeling sorry for myself. How pathetic is that?

I'm hoping that last year is the last one for a birthday pity party. I'm just going to go ahead and plan something fabulous on my own. :)And you're invited!

Joy Keaton said...

Gary - yeah, yeah. ;)

Bettejo - I never seem to mind the odd numbered birthdays quite so much as the even ones. I have a whole year with this stinkin' even number! Grrr!

Miss Jill - if we shared a birthday we could meet up at that sad little bar - how hilarious would that be? :)

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

I'm sorry you hate your birthday. :-/