Friday, January 11, 2008

Toughy-McToughster

That's what you should call anyone who quits smoking cold turkey and lives to tell the tale. Woo-wee. I'm tellin' ya. TOUGH.

It's funny how it didn't seem this hard when I quit the last time - I just stopped for a good two years and it was not so bad... at least not that I recall. I may be blocking. I may well have been running around smacking small children and clobbering people just for breathing near me. La-la-la... I don't recall.

This time has been more of a slow process. More of a gradual decrease in the amount of cigarettes I go through than a full stop. I actually got a nice 8 days totally smoke free and then it hit. The I COULD KILL SOMEONE mood. Ouch. It is likely due to the fact that I'm weaning off the medication that tricks my brain into thinking I've smoked. OR I could just be going through a little hint of PMS. Or SOMEONE IS PISSING ME OFF. Hard to tell. Hmmm.

What it boils down to is yesterday I decided I would buy another pack of cigarettes. *sigh* I went for a walk first and that helped a bit, but not enough and I ended up buying one. I waited two hours after I got home to actually smoke one and EIWWWWW - I got through (literally) one quarter of the thing and put it out and could taste and smell it all over the place and it was completely disgusting. Not the least disgusting to me was the fact that I had been doing it for two decades at least 20 times a day and LOVING it! WHAT???? Bleech.

So I have the pack (minus one) and I'm going to keep it. Because disgusted as I was yesterday, I know that urge will hit me again and I'm ready to subject myself to the grossness of it. I am NOT wrapping them and putting them in the freezer to keep 'em fresh either. Nope. I'm letting those puppies sit out and get stale and even MORE delightful. Masochist much? Clearly.

Here's to all the cold turkey quitters out there: BRAVO!! ME? I'm still plugging away and hoping for the best.

And since I managed this whole post without a smoke, I may actually be back to blogging more regularly. I know. You're thrilled. But please, keep the noise down. Noise makes me so cranky.

7 comments:

Ladron de Basura (a.k.a. Junk Thief) said...

Congrats on another milestone and finding those things disgusting. I've never gone through this, but it sounds like an accomplishment to me. If they continue to be a symbol of disgust and not a temptation, I would think that is progress.

Seraphine said...

Sorry for the noise.
Smoking made a bitter taste in my mouth, so I always kept chocolate handy to sweeten my palate. Then coffee became my new addiction, which also leaves a bitter taste. Again, more chocolate.
I think chocolate is the constant in my life. It's almost kin.

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

I am so proud of you!

Salty Miss Jill said...

Indeed! BRAVO!!!! JOY!!!!!

Joy Keaton said...

LdB - I agree, I think it's progress, I knew I'd have a 'slip' on my birthday - and I did - but I still feel like I'm making progress when I never thought I would.

Seraphine - oh, the noise is okay. I just like to play coy sometimes. ;)

Whim - you're such a great cheerleader!

Miss Jill - Gracias! You and Whim, girls, you need to get some pom-poms! :)

BetteJo said...

Oh I love it - that's terrific!

Joy Keaton said...

Bettejo - you get pom-poms too! :)