Friday, September 12, 2008

Clueless

I'm straddling complete enervation and total hyperactivity. It's kinda sucking. I have this 'on the verge' feeling and I'm not entirely sure what the verge is. My apartment is currently reliving its former life of complete disarray and clutter because I got it into my head that NOW was the time to paint the closets and finally, finally get rid of the last of the tchotchkes I want to sell on eBay or give away to charity. Believe me, I have more tchotchkes than a thrift store right now and that's after ditching hundreds of items. It's terrifying really, to think how much stuff I had and how much I still have. How is it possible? Well, partially because when people know you have the collector gene they give you things. I used to love getting stuff. The more stuff the better. Now I cringe at the thought of anything that is not actually USEFUL coming in my door. And I mean really useful. I'm so tired of getting rid of things and still never seeming to be done. Much of it is my own sentimentality and inability to let go of things. I am getting better about that. I actually gave my juicer to a thrift shop the other day. My JUICER! I loved it so! It's been in my closet for close to 10 years and I used it last, um... TEN years ago! Yeah. It's like that. So I'm a little brain fried right now. I don't even want to sort through this stuff - I just want to put it in the trash. But I can't make myself do it. I haven't honed my cut-throat de-clutter skills enough for that. Maybe one day. Maybe one day I won't need those skills any more because there will be nothing left to ditch!

I imagine if I continue to keep up my anti-social behavior I won't have to worry about it as I will have no friends left to give me stuff. So there's that.

I don't know why I have no desire to see or speak with anyone. It's that 'verge' thing. It's why I'm not interested in blogging so much lately too. I just don't feel like 'putting out' I guess. I don't feel like I have anything to say and I'm not in the mood to make it up. I think that what I want right now, and for a long while, is simply not something you can get from your friends.

On a less whiny note, these are some photos I took on a walk through Central Park last Sunday. The new photo up top is from the same day.

3 comments:

BetteJo said...

Love the new look - I have trouble reading the dark(er) backgrounds with light type. This is less angsty too.
The photos are beautiful!

And - I am doing the declutter thing too. Must.get.rid.of.stuff.

Yay Joy! It can be tough to do though.

LadrĂ³n de Basura (a.k.a. Junk Thief) said...

I was in the same space a couple of weeks ago and did some major utility room and closet renovation. Fortunately that was all nice and tidy once Guru arrived. Maybe this means Basil is about to get a new room mate!

Oh, those flower in the park are gorgeous and get me more excited about being in the city in just less than two weeks. Please tell the flora to hang on for my arrival.

Gary said...

What a shock to come over to "crush" and discover the fab new look! I'm loving the softer images and gentler hues.

For a while now I have felt that I only want to get 'consumables' for gifts. Things like candles, soap, paper, tickets to shows/concerts, perhaps clothing but not things like porcelain Eeyore's or stuffed pigs (well, maybe stuffed pigs). I too have much to sift through.

Hey, looking forward to seeing you on Thursday for Keely! Hope there is a place on the couch for me.