Monday, December 01, 2008

oh hai*

I have been completely wrapped up in the land of the wondrous and lovely doggies full time to the point of exhaustion for more than the past two weeks. It has been incredibly fun (you want to pay me for this??) and incredibly ass-whoopin'! Walking more than 7 hours every day - every day - can really take a toll. Of course one toll it took was removing 1.75" off each of my thighs. Hellll-o. I think that's kind of a 'gift from dog' as it were. Oh sure the scale hasn't budged, but I went down a jean size and you know, I'm really not going to complain about THAT!

Trouble with all that dog-time is that you forget how to communicate with people who don't have tails. I mean, humans. Full sentences that follow a logical pattern, with an actual point are typically expected. This is difficult after a day full of "Good BOY!" and "What a pretty, pretty baby!" Oddly I don't usually talk to the dogs that way, in fact when I do it to Basil he gives me the stink-eye. How DARE I speak to him like he was some ... some ... infant!! I typically speak to Basil, and the other dogs, in full sentences and as if they will in fact answer me in similar fashion. Not that they ever do, but it often seems they might. Still when confronted with human conversation during this canine-intensive time I have found I'm making little to no sense when I speak with people. I'm thinking it's because I've been so tired. Either that or the brain has finally decided to pack its bags. (I'm hoping for the fatigue.) I think I have more empathy for stay-at-home moms who forget how to speak-adult after a while. You're tired, you get into a rhythm and all that comes out of your mouth is "HOW CUTE ARE YOU???" Of course, I think puppies are far cuter than any human child, but that's me.

I've also been doing the bulk of this wild-eyed walking on the Westside. If you've read here before you might recall that I am an Eastside girl. I get confused once I cross west beyond Fifth Avenue. So avoiding getting lost while escorting the pups has added a level of stress that probably made me more tired than it would have if I'd been on my home turf. The fear that those Westsiders would somehow smell the Eastside on me and boot my ass back across the park was strong. For the most part however it was fine. There was the one encounter though...

I was walking the incredibly cool Bull Mastiff, who I will call Mr. D in the small park area that sits behind the Museum of Natural History on Columbus Avenue. On my way to pick him up I had noticed a polar bear on the roof of the museum which I am PRETTY sure I'd never noticed before. It being the sort of thing you would notice. While Mr. D and I were strolling we met an older woman walking a teeeny-tiny little Yorkshire Terrier. Cute as hell to see the giant dog and the petite puppy making friends. While the dogs made friends the woman asked me, completely out of nowhere if I knew where the Museum's ice-skating rink was. Now I have been totally out of touch with the world - no news, no nuthin' so I hadn't heard anything about this thing. But I HAD seen that Polar bear and I told her about it. We agreed that must be where the skating rink was located. Score! Then she asked if I was from the neighborhood and I told her (sheepishly and stepping back so she wouldn't hit me) that I was from the Eastside. She huffed, "EASTSIDER" and turned her back. (then she turned back, it was a joke - but a very, very appropriate one). Shocking... I didn't think anyone over there HAD a sense of humor. She must originally be from the Eastside. I have mentioned the New York East/West thing to people before (people who aren't from these parts) and they have scoffed at me. Because I'm clearly a big dork who knows nothing (I get this a lot). This small exchange was quite validating in that NO, it's not something I made up! Ooh, I must be angry with someone, huh? ;) Of course the East/West issue is not a feud of Hatfield/McCoy proportions, it's just a New York 'thing' and in fact I DO have some friends who live or have lived on the Westside... I hardly ever think badly of them. (I do feel a little sorry for 'em, though.)

So welcome to December! I hope the perkiness I'm feeling today will continue I feel like I haven't written anything in years.

*for those of you who are not quadruped-lingual, according to the hilarious site I Has A Hotdog that's "Oh Hi" in dog (and cat).


Gary said...

I wouldn't complain if you called me a 'good boy' or a pretty, pretty baby" but I do understand about the dog speak. Didn't I hear you actually barking when we were on the phone (my imagination perhaps but you were game and gave me one anyway).

As you know I was a West side dude but if I moved back to NYC I would now be an East side one. Upper East to be exact. Near you.

Cute doggie but he looks a bit like Popeye in that picture.

Glad to see you posting - I've missed it.


Joy Keaton said...

*WOOF* ;)

LadrĂ³n de Basura (a.k.a. Junk Thief) said...

He's a cute dog, but we had a close call with one off leash the other day. Don't get me started with idiots who have their dogs off leash on the sidewalk and -- as their dog comes lunging at Bow growling -- they say "Oh, he's a sweet dog."

I used to live at 79th and Columbus and remember the ice rink but not the polar bear. I was a westsider with an eastsider soul.

Joy Keaton said...

JT - the polar bear is new - and kinda adorable. I won't get you started on off-leash doggies because then I would get on a rant myself. The leash is not a cruelty, or hindering your dog - it's for your dog (and other dogs') safety. As their companions it's OUR duty to keep them safe. GRRR. Okay, averting the rant now...